Shoot me.

Who better to draw me out of my hibernation than the inescapable Chetan Bhagat? I’ve suppressed my words for the past 8 months, but then a day like this one comes along when I actually agree with something the above mentioned gentleman has written. How can I stay quiet today?

Yes shoot me. I agree with some of what Mr. Bhagat has written in his column in the Times of India today called “The underage optimist” . Unintentionally I suppose, Mr. Bhagat actually makes sense.  He comments on the attitudes of men towards women as portrayed in the recent Bollywood movie, “Cocktail”. He says, “Many Indian men, even the educated ones, have two distinct profiles of women — the girlfriend material and the wife material. One you party with, the other you take home. The prejudice against non-traditional women who assert themselves is strong.” Thank you for saying it sir. It is true.

Guys, this one is for you. We are great multi-taskers. We are not one-dimensional. So during the day we can cook our food, go to work, take care of our kids and after we are done with a day’s work, we can head out to watch a movie, a play, a concert or just party the night away. And no don’t worry next morning we will be up at the right time to take care of the new day, hangover or not! And yet, every day we have to justify our choices, to our male friends and colleagues, our husbands and boyfriends and our fathers and brothers? Why? If you can do it – go drinking at night and be at work at 9am the next morning, why can’t we? After all it is a known fact that we are better multi-taskers than you!

Forget about men. They are probably just insecure that we can do it all! Women when will you start believing this about yourselves? I find that an equal number of women are judgmental of smart, assertive and free-spirited women at the workplace who do not conform. Are we jealous of them? When will we be begin to realize that as long as we are safe, we can do what we want to? No, this is not a motivational speech, this is a fact. Of course, we probably will not end up doing everything that men do because we are different kinds of human beings. But we can do whatever we decide we want to.

Now coming to the points I disagree on Mr. Bhagat with. He goes on to lecture on the benefits of having a working woman for a spouse. He lists five points and because of the language he uses, I can give him the benefit of the doubt on four out of the five. But one of them I have contradict him on.  “Three, a working woman is better exposed to the world. She brings back knowledge and information that can be useful to the family. Whether it’s the latest deals or the best mutual fund to invest in, or even new holiday destinations, a working woman can add to the quality of life.” Bullshit. A housewife can have as much knowledge and information as a working woman. Because very often today a housewife is not someone who is staying at home because she is unemployable, but someone who wishes to stay at home. She is educated and skilled. She can stay at home and talk to people on the phone and Internet to keep herself abreast of the world. She can at the click of a button discover which is the best mutual fund to invest in. I know women like this. They choose this life for themselves and I salute them for it.

So when I told my hubby about this article and read out some of it to him, he laughed and said, “Well I married my girlfriend material.” Before some of you go “aww” about it, no please don’t. This is not an “aww” moment. This is reality. Deal with it.

About Aditi

My thoughts are who I am and I am what my thoughts make me.
This entry was posted in Foodie Aside., Life in general, Party, Uncategorized, Women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Shoot me.

  1. chhandita says:

    well, i am one of those women who chose to stay at home. But Mr. Bhagat’s article actually irritated me. Yes he was right about the indian male mentality. But he seemed clueless about how tough it is to be a stay at home wife/mother. It is much more than making phulkas sigh.

    • Aditi says:

      Hi Chhandita, Mr. Bhagat in general irritates me. But today I agreed with some of the things he said so made a post about it! And I’m with you on him being clueless about how tough it is to be a stay at home wife and mother. I was one for several years before going back into the work force so I know what you mean. The phulka cliche makes me cringe 😦

  2. Subashini says:

    I really dont understand. When chetan says “Really, is that what a woman’s life is all about — to make hot phulkas? ” I think he implies there is more to a woman’s life than that. Or I am not understanding things correctly. Personally I admire chetan becoz he atleast has got the guts to talk about things, accept if he is convinced he is wrong and change himself. Something more than 90 % of Indian men wud never do. The so called great bharathiyar also needed a bang in the head (when he was asked what he is going to do in the freedom struggle as a man that his wife can’t do” ) to understand women equality. He is raised in a society when female prejudice was accepted. If he is striving to change things, then I think that by itself needs to be applauded. I am a women who is a stay at home mom. Life is definitely isnt easy as it is mostly a thankless job. Though having an understanding husband helps. Aditi I usually love your blogs. but this one concentrating on a women’s freedom as that of partying n boozing around is what makes me sick. Freedom is not wearing scanty clothes n partying all night!. It is about taking the time to relax and do things that one enjoy along with fullfilling your duties, Also i can never understand y ppl wud want to waste their precious time, hard-earned money n already scarce energy to booze n spoil their health. Call me a health freak if u want, but this still puzzles me! It isn’t just the gods who must be crazy 😉

    • Aditi says:

      Suba, you are right in saying Chetan Bhagat is implying that there is more to a woman’s life than making phulkas. I agree with him on that. What I don’t agree with is his judgement that women should not choose to make phulkas at all. My point being that if they want to they should. I think you would agree with me on that.

      About Chetan Bhagat, I happened to see him at a literary festival recently and I genuinely appreciated his self-deprecating sense of humor. It is of course a good thing that he is at least trying to change things but that doesn’t mean we stop voicing our criticism of him. That is what I am doing here.

      Finally Suba your comment on my blog concentrating on boozing and partying. I rest my case. My point precisely is that women should be allowed to wear scanty clothes, booze, party and whatever without people like you forever judging them. It’s their life. As long as they are not hurting you, you have no right to judge them. But of course you will. Society will. That’s why I say people should still go ahead and do it. That’s how society will evolve.

  3. Renuka says:

    A very good one Aditi, as always. I am able to relate to this very easily as my co-sister is a housewife who is very knowledgeable, used to work up until she got married. Very smart in terms of current affairs. There used to be a time when I used to think twice to communicate in English to my non-tamil housewives wondering if they can communicate back fluently. but these days, almost all the housewives that I know are very well educated, who have taken the option of being a homemake by choice and not by chance.

    As a working women, i think most of us are trying to do as much as possible at home right from cooking 3 meals a day, cleaning, washing, educating kids ofcourse with immense help and support from our husbands without compromising our worklife, same way housewives are doing a lot more in terms of minimizing the expenses by shopping in the best places that gives good value for money, savings, investments etc. In summary, our generation of women are something to be proud of. Yes, we have the modern equipments, Yes, we have open minded husbands unlike our mums but still we are doing more than what are capable of.

    • Aditi says:

      Thanks for reading Renu. Our generation of women is indeed progressing by leaps and bounds in terms of what we are actually achieving and what we are striving for. But sometimes I wonder if this plethora of choice is a good or bad thing! In some sense for everything from working and child raising to cooking and cleaning – we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t!

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